Dear Prudence, open up your eyes.

Don't worry, I deleted all of the useless words that were here. Now they are going to be replaced with something (hopefully) more meaningful.

I feel like I'm just stuck in time. Not going anywhere. Nothing has changed. Nothing is going to change. This feeling sucks like you wouldn't believe, even though I'm sure everyone has felt it before. I just wish something, anything, positive would happen. Whether it be with school, family, love (that last one seems hopeless)...anything. I just need something to remind me that this is what life is supposed to be for me right now and keep me going. I have little motivation to do anything that could possibly be considered important for me right now, because I feel like it won't affect anything anyways. Who knows, maybe this is why God decided to intervene in my life right now. I know he's got something planned out. I wish I knew what it was, but I guess I have to take it day by day (Godspell rules). lol.
I was also thinking about how... crazy everyone is about objects. lol, that sounds stupid. But really, everyone's lives seem to revolve around the newest technology, or the nicest homes, how much his clothes cost, how much her jewelry was. It's not important. Life is about the beauty and the appreciation of it all, of everything we were blessed with. It's about respecting the amazing things that we have and the awesome abilities we were granted. I don't know, I guess the best way to sum up how I'm feeling is with a quote from American Beauty... and as Lester Burnham says,
"This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts."

I was hit with a wave of inspiration to write that, and now I've just drawn a blank. I guess that means it's time for me to talk about my day, haha. You lucky readers.

Well let's see. I didn't end up going to sleep until about 7:30 am or so last night. I'm a night owl. =/ haha. I tried to go to sleep around 5:45 am or so, but just ended up laying there thinking about things. But yeah, I ended up waking around 2:00 pm. I dreamt that I decided to go to band camp, and then that I completely regretted that choice. lol. Thennn... well let's fast-forward to, like, way later. I got an application at the movie theater. Then I rented The Stepford Wives, Mallrats, Grosse Point Blank, The Mexican, and Dear Frankie. yadda yadda yadda now I'm here.
Haha, Steve and I are talking about what we were afraid of when we were little. It's kind of weird, because now I welcome my fears and I fear what I used to love. For instance, I was sooo afraid of the dark and silence when I was little. Really, those were the only things that scared me. But now.. it's relaxing. Well, I'm still kind of ehhh about the silence, but I like dark. I love the dark. Maybe not dark and silence at the same time, that makes me feel really uncomfortable. hahaha. But yeah. And when I was little, haha, I used to always watch "Shark Week!" on, like the Discovery channel. And now.. Blah, I'm terrified of the ocean. well, of sharks. Darn my parents for allowing me to watch that!

Well, it's 4:00 am.. And I haven't even watched 1 of these movies yet. I think I'm going to watch The Mexican. I sure do love Brad Pitt! Bye =)

*edit* - I love these lyrics.. I feel like the apply to me really well right now. (minus the whole "I'll get out of California" haha. Just scratch that, and make it KY) I just need something new.

She said I think I'll go to Boston
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the summer,
some snow would be nice,
Boston, where no one knows my name.

posted by Hannah @ 9:02 PM 0 Comments

I am awesome at sleeping. Lol. Let me tell you, that is one thing I do incredibly well! Only a little while after I got on the computer, Alex decided to comandeer it. As always. And so I got bored and went back to sleep. I had a crazy dream. I dreamt that I got this tattoo of like a sideways blue heart. And then I started going on this tattoo binge, and I got like 5 more blue hearts starting on my left hip and moving upward. The last tattoo I remember getting in the dream was on my shoulder, and apparently it was a really big tattoo, lol, so they put me to sleep while they did it. Then when I woke up, I didn't have any recollection whatsoever of what tattoo I chose or why they put me to sleep or anything. I remember during some part of that dream I bought 2 books, too. haha. It was just randomly thrown in there, though.
Hm. Wish I had something to do today. Maybe I'll call William up later. I kind of want to see that John Tucker Must Die movie.... I don't know why. I will watch any and all chick flicks. I am a chick flick fiend! And maybe because Dirty Little Secret is on the preview. =/

So I'm sitting here listening to Politik by Coldplay waiting for something, anything, to happen.
lol, does anything ever happen in the ol' 502? Probably not. Oh well, that's why I can't wait for college! Woohoo! Goodbye, Kentucky! blah.

Last night I decided it was a good night to start listening to the radio when I'm trying to go to sleep. Well it's not really a good idea, cause I stay awake and sing with it, but oh well. It's really calming. I just laid there in the dark in my bed listening to 106.3. I love that station, they play everything that I adore. I recall Jewel, Goo Goo Dolls, Five for Fighting, and stuff like that came on, all in a row. lol it was great. Besides when they went to commercial, that pretty much ruined the whole mood. But other than that, it was really awesome, and I don't recall ever being so relaxed and just... at peace with everything before. It would've been even better if it were raining outside, but I had to wait until about 2:30ish pm for that, haha. I adore rain. It makes me sleepy, but always puts me in a better mood.

I'm going to go listen to some music. Ahh, what would life be without it?!

posted by Hannah @ 4:53 PM 1 Comments

Hey kids. What's happenin? So this is my first blog! Exciting, huh? I used to have a xanga, but I definitely got bored with it. I don't know, I just wasn't a huge fan. I'm actually going to be able to open up in these posts, too, because I don't mind letting the people who are reading them in. I don't usually open up so much.. but.. I feel okay about this. Only a couple people are going to be reading this, so whatever. lol. I guess I'll go on about my day, then.

Well, let's see. Today. Haha. William, Derek, and I all went over to Miss Smalley's house. We watched RENT, and laughed and played games, and had fun just like the old days. haha, I act like it was years ago. It was just really awesome getting to hang out with Derek and Sarah again. I missed them a lot! I forgot how much fun everyone was together! I hope we get to do something like that again soon, 'cause I haven't had such a good time in... weeks. Maybe even months. Anywho, we played 'Wise or Otherwise,' which I didn't even know existed. It's a really funny game. Who ever knew one could get away with talking about money, bananas, and hookers all in the same game?? LoL. Maybe next time we'll play 'Moods.' =)

Well, I had a huge paragraph on a couple different things written here, but I deleted it. I feel stupid when I write. I used to be proud of my writing skills, but they've really gone downhill. I'm not quite sure what happened. So I'm sitting here listening to Move Along trying to think of anything entertaining to say.

I had a huge segment on John's death and God and things like that... but for some reason, it keeps deleting when I try to post it. Maybe John doesn't want me to talk about him, lol. It was a huge paragraph, too. Augh.

Derek, I love reading about how excited and passionate you are to talk about your faith. It gets me excited, too, and it makes me want to talk about God. haha.
I'll be honest. I've gone astray lately. I'm not on the religious path I should be on. I'm trying now to get back on it, though. It seems like I completely forgot about everything for a while. I just... didn't recognize it. It was always there, in the back of my head, but I never did anything about it. I've decided that I'm going to start getting back on that path again, though. I don't know if I'm ready for church yet. Our church is infuriating. They honestly care about nothing but the money. They always talk about how they are going to help our youth group with new projects and stuff, but when we ask them for help, they just say no. So we end up having to do everything by ourselves, (all 10 of us. yes, really) and it's super hard to get things done cause... there is no one in the youth group. They don't even bother announcing the meetings at mass. Everyone who isn't in our youth group thinks its just ridiculous, but it's actually really cool. We have a lot of fun, but we're able to get serious and talk about God and everything that should be discussed. The retreats are the best! Oh man, they are so much fun, even if they are held in creepy locations. haha. I'm excited for the next one, even though it's like... next year. It's always something that really reminds me, like, "Hey... don't give up on God. He's never going to give up on you." It's just hard to remember because there are so many obstacles in life, and so many things that can steer us away. I guess what I'm trying to say is... i'm just starting over with my faith.

I think i've gone over everything that's been racing through my head lately. You know, I wish I were a better writer, just so I could make these blogs interesting. Sorry to anyone that I bored to tears, and you amaze me if you actually read all the way down to here!

posted by Hannah @ 12:52 AM 0 Comments